Sweet sixteen.

Hey there.

They say you don't realise when you change, when you grow up, when everything you have know and you have been is diffrent. And it's true. I am now 16 and I am as diffrent as I can be from a year ago, but I didn't realise it. On the 2nd of December I told myself that that was my last day at 15. I wanted to make it memorable, but I thought of no way of doing so. Why try to live more one day that any other day? So on the 3rd of December, the next day, I wanted to be happy. I wanted to try to not let anything upset me and even though there still were things I didn't like, I felt a little bit better.

A second, a day, a week, a month or a year older, I still want the same things. And I am willing to do better, I am willing to try in order to feel happy. I want to block out the things that don't matter, to focus ont he reality, on its good part and on how I can improve the bad part. I want to enjoy it, even though some days I have little to be pleased about. Crying is a part of life to and if I can't go on anymore, I'll sit down and cry. And then I'll get back up and try. Cause if I stop trying what's left?

This beautiful [ hopefully ] year ahead of me, I want to travel, I want to meet new people and talk talk talk. I want to be close with my family and I want to be a better friend because I realise that sometimes I am not. I want to draw, to write, to learn. I want to laugh, to have fun. I want to have the superfficial happiness of the age. And I want to be a better version of myself.

Please try to make every year matter, every moment. You won't get it back. Even if you're miserable, there are still things that make you a bit happy, like music, books, tea, oranges, hot-chocolate and sweaters, snow. Try to focus on those until life gives you a bigger reason and you to yourself.

I am going to go with a few so-called friends to a small party on Saturday. I have faith that it will be okay and that I will enjoy myself. Also, last Saturday, I my auncle and aunt came by the house and we celebrated my b-day in the family.

On your birthday try to be happy. You don't need to do crazy things, you just need to be with your close ones and try to smile from your heart.

See you,
Allexa.

Kiss me...

Hei guys.

Even though ever since school started I haven't had too much time for miyself, for having fun or for sleeping, I've been able to listen to music all the time. As a result, and with Bii's help, I've found a lot of songs named "Kiss me". Here they are:

"Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me"

"Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love 
Falling in love
We're falling in love"

"Well, I'm not sure what this is gonna be,
But with my eyes closed all I see
Is the skyline, through the window,
The moon above you and the streets below.
Hold my breath as you're moving in,
Taste your lips and feel your skin.
When the time comes, baby don't run, just kiss me slowly."

Yap, by lots I mean three, but these are awesome songs! You should really listen to them. Here's yet another one, whose title isn't kiss me, but whose lyrics do.

"But if I kissed you
Will your mouth read this truth?
Darling, how I miss you.
Strawberries taste how lips do."

Now, I'm off to sleep. Tomorrow, it's Friday. Can't waaait.

Allexa.

Lookbook. One tree hill.

Hei.

I haven't been on lookbook.nu for quite a while now and I can say that I missed it lots. Yesterday was the first autumnish day and I felt like scooping for looks that fitted the cold weather and my cozy mood. Here's what I found:

There weren't more recent ones so I had to do with these, but they'e pretty awesome, you know!

For a few days now I've been watching One Tree Hill and I've already got to season 2, episode 15. I can say that I absolutely don't like some characters, but love others. It's just the messed up story of a few teenagers, but I like the way it's told. You should definitely watch! Here's the intro song:

Other than that, I can't wait to go out and wear warm clothes. School starts tomorrow and, even though I've been saying that I can't wait for it to start, I fear it because of all sorts of things and I want to put it off as much as I can, but that's not possible. So I just have to put the badges that are going to arrive on Tuesday on my backpack, enjoy my pencase, designed just yesterday aaand learn as much as I can. I'm going to have to look past everything else, otherwise I won't be able to take it. You may not know what I'm talking about, but you know that at school we see everyone, not only the people we want to. Maybe that'll help you figure it out ! xD

I'll go to sleep tonight and hope for the best. May this be a good school year!!

See you, 

Allexa.

Tell me baby. Sweet child o' mine. Reading.

Hei you.

All day long yesterday I've been listening to Tell Me Baby by RHCP and today, ever since I woke up at about 11 a.m., to Sweet Child O'Mine by Guns N' Roses. Even though I haven't really listened to these song before, I now love them.

"Tell me baby what's your story
Where you come from
And where you wanna go this time oh
Tell me lover are you lonely
The thing we need is
Never all that hard to find oh
Tell me baby what's your story
Where do you come from
And where you wanna go this time oh
You're so lovely are you lonely
Giving up on the innocence you left behind"

"She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
she takes me away to that special place
And if I stare too long
I'd probably break down and cry"

Today I'm leaving for the contryside again, but this time I'm not taking with me books from the school reading list, but off of my own list. Last night I started reading "Pet Sematary" by Stephen King and, even though I've only read 120 pages, it has already started to scare me, but I can't let go of it. I want to know what's going to happen with the characters and I think that this weekend I'm going to finish it. I also have to read "Death on the Nile" by Agatha Christie. I can't wait, aya.

You have fun whatever you're doing until Monday. I am looking forward to school starting in a week or so.

Allexa.

In my veins. This is my city.

Hei.

This last weekend, while being at my grandparents' all I've been listening to has been In my veins by Andrew Belle, a song from the Pretty Little lIars and The Vampire Diaries soundtrack.

"Oh, you’re in my veins, and I cannot get you out
Oh, you’re all I taste, at night inside of my mouth
Oh, you run away, cause I am not what you found
Oh, you’re in my veins, and I cannot get you out

Everything will change
Nothing stays the same
Nobody is perfect
Oh, but everyone is to blame"

Also, ever since I got home yesterday, I've been listening This is my city, a song played during one of Cassie's episodes in Skins UK.

"Turning my memories
Hoping to find out
where all the loyalty's gone
The friends that I had then
Turned into strangers"

Allexa.

D'amour ou d'amitié

Hei there.

Today I felt like listening to some old good music, even in french. I love Celine Dion, so I listened to some of her french songs. I'll show you the others as my mood suits them. For now, D'amour ou d'amitié suits it perfectly. Can "amour" turn into"amitié"? I really hope so. I need it right now, 'cause I still care. I hate drama. I'd really like a full course of boredom. Boredom today, tomorrow and the day after that. Also, school. So I can see people everyday without asking to, without meaning to, but wanting to.

"Je crois pourtant qu'il est seul et qu'il voit d'autres filles
Je ne sais pas ce qu'elles veulent ni les phrases qu'il dit
Je ne sais pas ou je suis quelque part dans sa vie
Si je compte aujourd'hui plus qu'une autre pour lui"

...translated as...

"I believe however that he's alone and that he hangs out with other girls 
I don't know what they want nor the sentences he says 
I don't know where I am somewhere in his life 
If I count more than the others for him today"

Off to bed. Night,

Allexa.

The Vampire Diaries inspiration

Hello you.


Today wasn't a very special day, but it was not regular either. I've learned that my cousin, Tina, has passed her final exams with a grade of 9.65 which is actually really good! I've also reached page 200 and something on that book I was reading. Annnd my english lessons are going well, I guess. Today my parents and I sort of talked about going to the seaside. Me is extremely happy, aya.

As  I was looking through the Delena tag, I stumbled again this Delena fan vid:

This video is simply genius and I can't get tired of it. I can't wait for season 4, asdfghjkl.

It is really hot and it's already 1 a.m. Still, I am going to try to sleep. Tomorrow I have to wake up early, urgh. I'll even get a haircut. Maybe I'll share some photos, haha.

Night,
Allexa.

Addiction for the ears

Hei you.

I am not having the best mood in the world, but I will try to see the sunny side of things. Today I slept in, like until 1 p.m. and I couldn't be prouder. I read a whole chapter of "Otilia's riddle", I went outside and I told the truth. The last thing made me feel mad afterwards, but it's better this way. Or so I'd like to believe. The best part? The music. Just listen:

I know it's rock, but I just love it. Maybe you will to, who knows.

Night,
Allexa.

Music

Hei.

I know I've said it countless times, but music is really like breathing for me. I can't study without it, I can't sleep without it, I can't do anything. When I feel down, music is there for me, when I feel happy, it's there again. No matter what my feelings are, it's always been there for me. A friend, even if he/she cares about you, he/she can't always be there. They've got their own lives to live and sometimes, when you're mad, they may be doing something else and you may find yourself in the position of ... having to find refuge in someone else... or something else. I, for one, find refuge in music. These are the songs that I've been listening this past week:

I have only one term paper left and then - a couple of tests I think. After all of that, I will be able to start learning how to enjoy life again, hah. I can't wait for it. I also want to start teaching my mum english again [ I am inspired by Bii on this one ]. Here comes a summer full of projects.

Night,

Allexa.

Skins UK

Hi there.

At the begining of this week I finished watching the fourth season of the tv series Skins UK. Even though there are yet two more seasons, I can't watch them. If you don't know what the show is about, let me tell you on short. Every two seasons have as the center of action a college generation. It's all about their lives, how they overcome their problems, how they learn to love or what drugs can do to you [ farmaceuticals as well as things life spliff ].

The first generation is a little bit strange, to say so. At least that's how I see them. I don't really like the way they live or the fact that they are stoned most of the time, but I got addicted to the episodes. I just had to know what was going to happen to them next.

The second generation was.... utterly amazing. What I loved most about all of it is that they show all of us how hard you can fall in love with someone, that it doesn't matter what gender the person is, that you can get really hurt, that you can be really scared of how strong your feelings are. I am not going to say more, because I really wish all of you to watch it. It made me cry so many times.

Spoilers or not, here are some gifs/photos with the second generation [ mostly Effy and Freddie,may I add ]:

 

Okay, this is an overdose of Skins, but these are just amazing, I'm telling you. So I'm not sorry for sharing.

 

Maybe it's a bit much, but bear with me for a little more. Ayayaya.

Their love left me speachless after the last episode. You should definetely watch.

And now I am off to bed, even though today I've already slept like... 4-5 hours or so. I'm a sleep addict.

Night,

Allexa.

Delena.

Hello.

How are you? I am fine, thank you very much. School isn't going so bad these days, even though a lot of tests and term papers are coming up. Through all of this mess I made time for myself. And by that, of course I mean to watch tv series. Two weeks ago, while still being on that school trip, I watched the 19th episode of the third season of The Vampire Diaries. I know I wasn't supposed to watch new episodes while being with my classmates, but it was late and I just allowed myself a moment of peace, haha.

After a long enough wait, Damon and Elena kissed. Uhum. Finally. I think they are perfect together, heh. I know some people won't agree with me and will say that Stefan is her 'great,fairytalish' love, but um, nope, I don't think that. I am not one who can settle for good when I can have best. Yes, Stefan is only good. He'll always be just good. He ditched Elena when she needed him. He acted dumb, he abandoned her, he wasn't there to save her. He hid his monster-self from her, he left her when he should have been fighting for her.

On the other hand, Damon has always been there for her, you know. Even if she didn't really stand him, she didn't tell him to go away. She needed him and he was there every single step of the way, getting mad and over-protective, saving her, laughing with her, changing in better and changing her along the way, making her stronger. I personally support their relationship. I think it makes both of them better. It's intense, there's passion and both Damon and Elena can be happy, because they are true to who they are. Elena knows the real Damon and vice-versa. There's no lies. They didn't fall in love with someone other than the true self of the other.

In that episode, when Elena kissed Damon, she just gave in her emotions. She didn't ignore them anymore. That background song, Never let me go by Florence and The Machine described everything perfectly.

When Elena chooses between the brothers, she will kind of put a motive of sadness between Damon and Stefan, but it's best that she does that. She can't fool around with the two of them. And I think it's immature of them to say that the one that isn't chosen will have to leave town. They're going to hurt her. They should just accept the decision and move on. Grr. Oh, here's the song:

I hope you like it. I've listened to it constantly ever since I've heard it on the show. The lyrics have so much meaning that you can't help but get emotional while listening to it, haha.

Oh and this quote: "Nothing worthwhile is ever easy" fits Delena so much. Stelena came way to easy. What comes easy goes easy, folks.

Night,

Allexa.