What I wore

Hey there!!

Today I went to the second session of the AIESEC project called Grow and even though my mood sucked plenty because of various reasons, including the really hot whether, I was able to cheer myself up with some self-made lemonade and the realisation that I have a microSD on which to store my camera photos!! So, as I reached the apartment building in which I live, I took some photos of the outfit I wore today.

• white T-shirt with black stripes from H&M
• black shorts from C&A
• brown Converse, really worn out
• blue bracelet from Singapore and black bracelet I received as a gift on the 1st of March
• vintage bag from a local store
• necklace with the Eiffel tour from Meli Melo

As music is always on in my room and as it is summer and I need to stay positive, here's a song for you to listen to:

" I raise my flags, don my clothes

It's a revolution, I suppose

We're painted red to fit right in

whoa "

Love,

Allexa.

Photo with a stranger

Tomorrow should finally be the last day of school and then we will be able to relax and do whatever we want, even though this summer I want to get a part-time job and maybe learn new things while having fun as well. This the last summer before we start getting ready for college and I suppose it's really important. SO yet again we made a list. And one of the things on the list is to take a photo with a random stranger on the street every week. Today B and I found it difficult not to get inhibited and it was hard to take the picture, but we calmed down and it was okay.

Haha, I can't wait to take more pictures this summer. Maybe I'll be able to make a scrapbook or something with the photos. I haven't one that in a while and it would be fun.

Love,

Allexa.

Summer feelings sinking in

Hello there.

I have been wondering what to post about since my mind has been filled with a lot of idea today and with good mood as well. I saved a bunch of pictured from tumblr, with room designes or with quotes on various themes, but I decided to stick with what I am most happy about: being able to not stress about school, but to go out and have fun. Since a month ago and until a fewy days ago, all we've been able to do was to go to a cafe, have something to drink and talk, as you can see in the first two pictures.

Here we were at Groove, where I had a long Expresso and the girl beside me had a black tea with honey, which was delicious, really.

At Cella's birthday, I finally ordered a white Martini and just like I had expected, I loved it.

 Now that the sun is up in the sky a lot more and that the weather is warmer, we're able to go somewhere outside and enjoy ourselves more.

At Tipsy, during our CAE lunch break, I had the best coffee ever.

And as if simply going out wasn't enough, my friends have started throuwing barbeques and pool parties. I went to a barbeque/pool party last evening/night and as I was sitting on chiar by the pool and watching the boys play something like Polo but not quite, I felt the feeling of summer sink in and a wave of happiness struck me and I couldn't help but smile.

Summer is in the air and even though I don't have a boyfriend, I am happy for my friends, haha. 

I can't wait to do everything I have in mind for this summer and also make some money if possible. A summer to do list is on the way!!

Love,
Allexa.

Photoshoot~

Hello to you too, dear!:)

On the day when I left for the countryside, right before Christmas, I took a lot of photos of myself. First in my pjs 'cause I was too lazy to change and I didn't think that any of those photos were going to be okay, but they did turn out okay. Then I had to change and leave with my brother and parents. When  arrived at my grandparents', I had to wait for the breakfast to be ready. So I was standing there in my room with the camera in my hand and I took a lot of photos. Here are some of them.

I used a photo similar to the last one as my profile picture on facebook, haha. I am sorry I don't have any music to inspire you with, but as I was sick and my ears also hurt badly, I couldn't listen to any at my phone and I also on the computer only watched Lost, so I didn't listen to anything new or worth mentioning. Maybe the next time I come by I will give you a reason to press the play button. 

I am afraid that will only happen when I get rid of my obssesion with Lost. I am now watching season 5. I will try to stop and take a look at the things around me. I have grown to be... fond of the nice talk. I want to talk nicely. I want to know how to talk and I want what I have to say to be worth saying. I will try. Until then, I wish that you find your way the best that you can.

Cheers,

Allexa.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year !!

Hei there yous!!

I know it's kind of late, giving it's already the first of January, but this holiday all I have been thinking about has been watching Lost, reading the Vampire Diaries aaand sleeping and wasting time. I am here now to say that I wish you had a Chirstmas near your family, a warm day that made you feel good, happy.

I, for one, during the Christmas Eve and the day before that, I helped my mum and my grandma cook and prepare everything for Christmas. I also convinced my grandma to bake me some special cookies with nuts and honey. I of course had to take pictures of it, before being baked and after, so that you can see them. I don't know the recipe, but they were delicious. My brother ate a lot of them as I haven't had a great appetite lately. Here you go.

On the second day of Christmas I visited my other grandparents and then spent the rest of the day at my aunt's and uncle's, with both my cousin and her French boyfriend. We had a great time and she kicked my ass when we played a race game on the game console.

In the next few days prior to the New Year's Eve, I spent most of my time in bed, as I had been sick until exactly last night. I got ready and I went to a friend's house alongside B and some other friends. We broke some glasses, the champagne bottles, we did karaoke, we watched a movie and we took silly pictures in the mirror. It was somewhat boring, but it was.. pleasant and far better than staying at home.

And that behind me is of course my Christmas tree at home xD

Overall, it was a pretty good night. I went to sleep at about 6 a.m. and woke up at about 2 and a half p.m. only to go and eat smth. Then I just did nothing. It felt good, haha. I hope you had fun, your own kind of fun and I wish you a very happy new year, in which you cand find yourselves ! Cheers !!

Allexa.

Sweet sixteen.

Hey there.

They say you don't realise when you change, when you grow up, when everything you have know and you have been is diffrent. And it's true. I am now 16 and I am as diffrent as I can be from a year ago, but I didn't realise it. On the 2nd of December I told myself that that was my last day at 15. I wanted to make it memorable, but I thought of no way of doing so. Why try to live more one day that any other day? So on the 3rd of December, the next day, I wanted to be happy. I wanted to try to not let anything upset me and even though there still were things I didn't like, I felt a little bit better.

A second, a day, a week, a month or a year older, I still want the same things. And I am willing to do better, I am willing to try in order to feel happy. I want to block out the things that don't matter, to focus ont he reality, on its good part and on how I can improve the bad part. I want to enjoy it, even though some days I have little to be pleased about. Crying is a part of life to and if I can't go on anymore, I'll sit down and cry. And then I'll get back up and try. Cause if I stop trying what's left?

This beautiful [ hopefully ] year ahead of me, I want to travel, I want to meet new people and talk talk talk. I want to be close with my family and I want to be a better friend because I realise that sometimes I am not. I want to draw, to write, to learn. I want to laugh, to have fun. I want to have the superfficial happiness of the age. And I want to be a better version of myself.

Please try to make every year matter, every moment. You won't get it back. Even if you're miserable, there are still things that make you a bit happy, like music, books, tea, oranges, hot-chocolate and sweaters, snow. Try to focus on those until life gives you a bigger reason and you to yourself.

I am going to go with a few so-called friends to a small party on Saturday. I have faith that it will be okay and that I will enjoy myself. Also, last Saturday, I my auncle and aunt came by the house and we celebrated my b-day in the family.

On your birthday try to be happy. You don't need to do crazy things, you just need to be with your close ones and try to smile from your heart.

See you,
Allexa.

Seaside part 3.

Hei there.

As school is almost here, like a day away, I decided that it is time I showed you the last few photos from the seaside. These are from when we were visiting Queen Mary's Castle. There was some kind of a river with a waterfall, a small bridge. There were cactuses, and a winery in which I found an old typewriter.

I am kind of sad that I wasn't able to take more artistic photos here, but I didn't have my camera with me so I have to live with the "consequences".

This is it. I didn't edit any of these photos because I wanted them to be ... real, I guess. I'm going got miss summer, the sea, the heat and the short shorts, but I am glad autumn is here. Today was the first day when we had chilly weather and I was beyond happy and I felt like hanging out, but I had no-one to do that with, so I was stuck home, but I kept my window wide open in order to feel the cold air.

Night, yous.
Allexa.

Seaside. part 1

Hei there.

As you know, at the end of July, I went to Bulgaia with my family and two other families [ friends of mum and dad's, ever since they were at Uni ]. Even though there were no other kids besides me and brother, we spent our time having fun mostly, 'cause you know... brothers fight and they fight quite often.

Here's the beach where almost everybody went. It wasn't that great. We only went there one afternoon, on the day we arrived in the resort. The following days we spent our time on another beach, in the resort near ours. Just behind those yellow umbrella's, there was the area where you could pay for an umbrella. Look:

On the hill near the beach, there was a big sign, just like the one with Hollywood, but with Balcik, the name of the resort.

A kind of statue just near the parking lot.

This is the pool of the hotel. We spent all our afternoons there. If not there, sleeping in our rooms. The evening were spent either there or walking near the sea:

In this photo, you can also see my brother [ the one smiling like an idiot ] and a little dog, which actually followed us from the hotel all the way to the beach. There, by some means, we succeeded to get rid of it.

 

I'll come back with more photos. Right now, I'm off to read "Ion"/ 'John'.

Night,
Allexa.

P.S.:I have now changed the width of the entire blog and made the images larger. Thanks for the idea, B.

Happy Birthday, mum!!

Hei there, guys!

I just wanted to check-in and let you all know that today is my beautiful mum's birthday!!

She's truly the best. She loves me lots and I couldn't ask for anything more. I just wish that sometimes she'd do more things for herself, rather than for me and my brother, 'cause she does give up a lot for us. I love seeing her smile.

Night night,
Allexa.

P.S.: Those were some photos from Bulrgaria, from when we were visiting Queen Mary's Castle.

Change. Happiness.

Hei.

I don't really know what to say, to be honest. I feel... shitty, as usual, but this time I want to focus on why it is so important for me to see past all the fuck-ups and try to be happy.

Yesterday I hung out with a friend of mine [ we used to be together, to be more specific ] and as I was about to go, I asked him if he was okay. He avoided answering my question, asking me back if I thought that there was something wrong with him. That moment I got a little angry and I replied that I only wanted to know if he was fine, if he was ... happy. He said he was, but the second after he said that, he added: ''Nobody is happy.'' and I was close to tears. I told him it was true, but at least I was trying to be happy and he said I actually wasn't. [ as a side comment to why I was there with him, once again ] It was true. I said that to him. But I also said that I was trying to look past all the sad stuff, because if you don't try, then what's the point of it all? Or everything. What is it? We'd just be sad all the time. I don't want that for me. 

To that, he said it's better to show it, to be true to yourself and to the world and just show it. That way, you'll know who are your friends. I agreed with that. I just agreed, but I didn't utter a word more. I know now that no matter what happened between us, we're still friends and we will always be. He's the only one that when I call and I say I need him, he's there. No questions. He just comes. And I love that. People describe him as disfunctional, but I am disfunctional too. We're kind of perfect for eachother.

[he always says I am crazy, but he stands by my side anyway]

But what does this have to do with the term of change? It is a cliche, but it is one because it is true. Second by second, minute by minute, day by day, nothing seems to change. Not a thing. We just keep going, hoping for the best, expecting the worst, trying to find ourselves or just losing who we are. And when we stop and look back at how it all used to be, we realise everything's changed.

Me? I can't stand it. When I look back, I cry, because I miss how easy it all used to be, but also because I don't miss it at all and I am amazingly happy that I am past it. I really don't know. I like to believe that life is about trying to be happy, about being happy and I want to smile. I want to find reasons to smile and if I am not smart enough to find them, I want to get angry, angry at life and stand up with my head held high.

The only constant thing in my life has been change and it still is. But what if not all change is good? What if some things have to stay the same? Like... the small things? Those I like the best. The small things. A smile, a look, a touch, a laugh, a glance, a fight, a punch. Those things make it all seem real, not boring, but full of life.

I keep bouncing between change and happiness, but those two themes are in my head right now and I can't shake them off. For me, they are forever holding hands, because I get bored easily. It's like... Starting a fire and letting it burn byt itself. At some point, it's going to stop burning if you don't keep adding wood or things to help it burn. Change. That's it. Everything changes, but the change makes it bearable. By changing things, I get happy. Even for a second, a minute, an hour. I can't be happy more than that, but for those moments I live. You can blame all you want, you can disagree with me, but I frankly don't think I care. :/

Don't you get bored if you don't experience change?

But then again, you look at a photograph and you start to appreciate the fact that some human being invented it, because it never changes, even when the people in it do.

I love change. I have change.It depends on what it affects.

Please tell me you also get bored easily, please tell that you need to add wood to the fire every once in a while to keep it burning, tell me you love its flame. Tell me I'm not the only one.

Allexa.