Sweet sixteen.

Hey there.

They say you don't realise when you change, when you grow up, when everything you have know and you have been is diffrent. And it's true. I am now 16 and I am as diffrent as I can be from a year ago, but I didn't realise it. On the 2nd of December I told myself that that was my last day at 15. I wanted to make it memorable, but I thought of no way of doing so. Why try to live more one day that any other day? So on the 3rd of December, the next day, I wanted to be happy. I wanted to try to not let anything upset me and even though there still were things I didn't like, I felt a little bit better.

A second, a day, a week, a month or a year older, I still want the same things. And I am willing to do better, I am willing to try in order to feel happy. I want to block out the things that don't matter, to focus ont he reality, on its good part and on how I can improve the bad part. I want to enjoy it, even though some days I have little to be pleased about. Crying is a part of life to and if I can't go on anymore, I'll sit down and cry. And then I'll get back up and try. Cause if I stop trying what's left?

This beautiful [ hopefully ] year ahead of me, I want to travel, I want to meet new people and talk talk talk. I want to be close with my family and I want to be a better friend because I realise that sometimes I am not. I want to draw, to write, to learn. I want to laugh, to have fun. I want to have the superfficial happiness of the age. And I want to be a better version of myself.

Please try to make every year matter, every moment. You won't get it back. Even if you're miserable, there are still things that make you a bit happy, like music, books, tea, oranges, hot-chocolate and sweaters, snow. Try to focus on those until life gives you a bigger reason and you to yourself.

I am going to go with a few so-called friends to a small party on Saturday. I have faith that it will be okay and that I will enjoy myself. Also, last Saturday, I my auncle and aunt came by the house and we celebrated my b-day in the family.

On your birthday try to be happy. You don't need to do crazy things, you just need to be with your close ones and try to smile from your heart.

See you,
Allexa.

D'amour ou d'amitié

Hei there.

Today I felt like listening to some old good music, even in french. I love Celine Dion, so I listened to some of her french songs. I'll show you the others as my mood suits them. For now, D'amour ou d'amitié suits it perfectly. Can "amour" turn into"amitié"? I really hope so. I need it right now, 'cause I still care. I hate drama. I'd really like a full course of boredom. Boredom today, tomorrow and the day after that. Also, school. So I can see people everyday without asking to, without meaning to, but wanting to.

"Je crois pourtant qu'il est seul et qu'il voit d'autres filles
Je ne sais pas ce qu'elles veulent ni les phrases qu'il dit
Je ne sais pas ou je suis quelque part dans sa vie
Si je compte aujourd'hui plus qu'une autre pour lui"

...translated as...

"I believe however that he's alone and that he hangs out with other girls 
I don't know what they want nor the sentences he says 
I don't know where I am somewhere in his life 
If I count more than the others for him today"

Off to bed. Night,

Allexa.

Seaside. part 1

Hei there.

As you know, at the end of July, I went to Bulgaia with my family and two other families [ friends of mum and dad's, ever since they were at Uni ]. Even though there were no other kids besides me and brother, we spent our time having fun mostly, 'cause you know... brothers fight and they fight quite often.

Here's the beach where almost everybody went. It wasn't that great. We only went there one afternoon, on the day we arrived in the resort. The following days we spent our time on another beach, in the resort near ours. Just behind those yellow umbrella's, there was the area where you could pay for an umbrella. Look:

On the hill near the beach, there was a big sign, just like the one with Hollywood, but with Balcik, the name of the resort.

A kind of statue just near the parking lot.

This is the pool of the hotel. We spent all our afternoons there. If not there, sleeping in our rooms. The evening were spent either there or walking near the sea:

In this photo, you can also see my brother [ the one smiling like an idiot ] and a little dog, which actually followed us from the hotel all the way to the beach. There, by some means, we succeeded to get rid of it.

 

I'll come back with more photos. Right now, I'm off to read "Ion"/ 'John'.

Night,
Allexa.

P.S.:I have now changed the width of the entire blog and made the images larger. Thanks for the idea, B.

Reading.

Hei there.

As you can see, I'm back from the seaside. Even though I've been back for quite a while now, I didn't feel like posting. I've been busy with getting back in schedule, the english lessons and my relationship with my parents, which hasn't been at its best lately.

During my week away, I was able to finish "Otilia's riddle" and just a few minutes ago I also finished a short story from the very long reading list. I can say I did not expect its ending. Next, while reading "Ion" [ translated John in english ] I plan on reading Jane Eyre/Emma/David Copperfield. I have all three of them in English and I feel the need to learn new expressions and words. I can't stand the simplicity of romanian or of the posts on tumblr. I need some good english literature.

During my daily tumblr browsing, I found this particular quote that stood out:

“If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.”

-Robert Pattinson

It is long and it is not an old one or by a writer, but it is beautiful. Simply genius. Books are going to forever be the best thing.

I am going to put the high-school to do list Bianca, I and some friends made and I am going to keep striking the things that I did. I do hope to be able to do most of them. Also, "stay tuned" for the photos from Bulgaria. I didn't take many, but some of them are really funny.

Night,
Allexa.

Plans

Hei you.

This summer is going to be a full one and, even though I don't think I am going on foreign land this year, I will make sure that I have fun. Here's a list of what I want to do/ have already planned to do:

-take english lessons in order to pass my FCE with an A and the continue to take them for my CAE and so on

-take those graphic classes that dad talked to me about. I can't wait. I think I have finally decided to be an architect and I couldn't be prouder of that decision.

-go to the pool as often as I can and get a really nice tan

-have fun at R's place in the countryside in august

-get mum a nice present for her birthday, as well as for B. I have to find something... unique.

-go to my grandparents' every weekend and stay there for a week. I miss the fresh air and my grandma's cooking

-talk more with people, be more sociable, if possible.

-listen to some quality music

-draw [ anything, everything ]

-write in my real jurnal

-read all the books on the reading list that I got from my romanian teacher

-take photos

Mnia, I feel like it's a full summer and I didn't even put there the plans that I'll make with my parents. I don't know. I just want to feel happy this summer. I want to feel... happy with myself. I need that. I also need to be needed.

These are the plans for this summer. Hope you'll have a happy and full summer too !

Allexa.