Oh love

Hey.

I've got a lot of homework for tomorrow, but I have to spend some time for myself. I decided to spend that time thinking about love. What a great thing, right? For the past month I have spent my nights, my spare time and every free second of every single day analizing this thing called love, analizing why relationships sometimes don't work out and even though the answers came easily and they were simple, it was not that easy for me to accept them or be okay with them.

Being stuck on something is no good. Being the only one missing and caring is not, but neither is to pretend to care or to care for the wrong reasons. You have to move on, to leave it behind you. It was something you wanted at some point and it didn't work out for various reasons, but you just have to understand those reasons and to try to change some things about yourself if the case. Don't work yourself up. Just make it simple, ease your heart and let go.

I realised last night that I can just wake up one day and not feel the need to stare again. Today, I almost did. I didn't really feel it anymore. And that felt so good, you can't even imagine. Letting go means being able to focus only on yourself. And today I could. And I realised that I had some issues too, such as being a bit too jealous, thing I'm trying to work on. I've also learned that i felt that way only because I usually lack confidence in myself. So I need to work on that to and be open to the future.

The future holds so much. One day, you just might meet someone special and your heart might just bump really hard because of the happiness. And you'll feel scared. And that person is going to change everything you knew about life. And everything is going to make sense for once. And you'll get scared, but you'll know you have known love. At this age, my opinion is that you can't feel love. You can only care deeply for someone. We're still changing and growing up, so you can't talk about accepting someone withh all their flaws, you can't talk about loving those flaws and staying beside them forever and always.

Love can only come when you are the most you you can be. But that love is so sweet I like to believe.

And because music is like breathing, here's this post's inspiration:

"Oh Love, oh love
Won't you rain on me tonight?
Oh life, oh life
Please don't pass me by
Don't stop, don't stop
Don't stop when the red lights flash
Oh ride, free ride
Won't you take me close to you"

" 'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time"

And yes, I have been infected with Sleeping with Sirens. I love their lyrics and I love their music. You should listen. Now I'm off to doing my homework and whatever I need to do for tomorrow. I have a week full of tests ahead of me.

See you,
Allexa.

Stop complaining and start doing.

Hey there youuus.

I am feeling determined and a little bit happy. This past week I've learned lots, obtained great marks alongside B and also learned lots about life from our English tutor, Bogdan. From only one sentence, which was said hurriedly, I got to understand the way we are supposed to cope with everything, the way we are supposed to live life at its fullest.

"Stop complaining and start doing." he said. I believe that he is not the only one who ever said this, but he's the one that made me hear it by not giving any emotional involvement to it. He had heard us complain about so much things that he got tired of it and gave us a simple advice. You should stop complaining about how things are. Complaining is not going to improve anything, it's only going to harm you emotionally, to make you morose, to make you feel hopeless. You should do. Do things. Attend courses, do stupid things with your so-called friends, love the best you can, be kind to those who deserve it, learn, learn, learn, because this life is so short and we only breathe for so long.

The pain is not going to make it better. Trying again and maybe, just maybe succeding will. The  'what-if's will do no good, but the answers will.

You can't really do something right if you don't believe you can. Believe something will come true and it will. Work hard for it and you will see it before your eyes or feel it with your heart.

Saying " I'm fine " to those who don't matter is okay. Not everyone needs to know how you actually feel, but there are some people you can trust, there are people whose help you can ask for. Do it.

Positivity. Don't let people tell you that you can't.

Don't worry and don't think too much. Eventually, everything will be solved and the too much thinking will only create a problem that wasn't there in the first place.

But that doesn't mean what you had with the person wasn't real. It was real. At the time, the people you were then were suited for each other. Change is constant. You should not feel bad about it. Be happy you had something important at some point. Some don't get even that.

From time to time, we have to take a break to enjoy life. Stress keeps us from noticing the raw beauty of the world. You should also also travel. Read the whole book, don't get stuck on only one page.

And that pretty much says it all.

Life is to be lived. Life is to do things, as many things as you can. Write a book about your life, do skinny dipping, travel the world, meet the love of your life, tell people how you really feel, do the things you love, such as drawing or photography. And keep your family close. At the end of the day, they're going to be the ones standing beside you and they are going to be willing to take the fall for you.

I don't know how much of that advice I'm going to take, but I want to try. I want not to fight with my parents and my brother anymore and I don't want to hold useless grudges against people.

I am willing to try and live. Are you?

-Allexa.