Wanderlust

Hello, dears!!

Doesn't life simply suck? It's the end of my second high-school year and it all seems to pass by so fastly. Summer is here and I honestly can't wait to wear all my dresses and skirts and to actually get something done besides school and assignments. Maybe we are really going to do some things off that list. Maybe it's going to be awesome. Maybe hugs aren't going to be so bitter-sweet. Maybe there won't be so much lust. Right now I was thinking of so many things and then I thought of where I want to be. I realised I want to be here with everyone and then I realised I'd rather be anywhere but here, because being here would mean me caring and me getting hurt and me getting attached. So here are a few places where I would like to lose myself:

  

 

 

 

 

So will you please travel the world with me? I have come to the realisation that that is one of my biggest dreams ever. One dream that scares me to death. One dream without which I would die. I cannot stay in this little forgotten town. I have to get out. I have to see. But I will, won't I?

I do hope so. In the mean time let's keep our fingers crossed for summer. And listen to good music, shall we?

"You hit the drink, you take a toke
Watch the past go up in smoke, yeah
Fake a smile, yeah, lie and say that,
You're better now than ever, and your life's okay
When it's not. No."

Love,

Allexa.

Vanilla sky

Hey there! 

It was more than a week ago that I watched this movie. I was studying for this big, important for me, but not relly important itself English competiton and I decided to take a break and watch a movie that my friends had been telling me about for half a year. 

I started with no expectations and I ended up being very confused near the end, but in the last 10 minutes, everything explained itself, and it was great. It was a mindfuck, really, but I didn't mind. I was patiently enjoying everything, waiting for the moment when the story would tell me how to fill the gaps and I would understand everything. And I did. And it was wonderful, because the movie gave me hope and at the same time it crushed me. 

When you lose the one thing that's most important to you, how do you keep going on? How can you face the people that are important to you? You're ashamed, but you face them anyway and then you try to change back. To be honest, that's really of no use, because changing back is not an option. You have to move forward. But what if you're not prepared yet? Well then you go and do something stupid that teaches you the lesson. And you lose everything once more, but then it doesn't matter, because you're ready to build a new life, aren't you? Changes .. Life. You can do it all  if you want to.

“My dreams are a cruel joke. They taunt me. Even in my dreams I’m an idiot… who knows he’s about to wake up to reality. If I could only avoid sleep. But I can’t. I try to tell myself what to dream. I try to dream that I am flying. Something free. It never works…”

I will not say more, because this really isn't the movie that someone should spoil. So just watch it and be awed. It's a greater mindfuck than The Uninvited. And if the most critical friend of mine says it's the greatest movie he's ever seen, the movie he watches over and over again, then it really must be a masterpiece. 

And it truly is.

Love, 

Allexa.