Dear Friend,
I am writing to you because I need to get this out of my system. I need to stop crying and just write this down so I can try to move on and change something. I don't think I can say my entire feelings to someone, so I'll just tell you, because you won't judge, right? I'm so tired of people judging.
I didn't use to care about trivial stuff a year and a half ago. When almost the whole class in middle school turned against me, I learnt the importance of true friends, of family, of laughter, of support, of kindness, of gratitude and of talent. Then high-school came and everything came crashing down on me. Everyone here (well almost everyone) cares about appearences, about clothes, about owning gadgets. They get mad if they're not the best at something. They get mad if there are people better than them. And for what? The subjects they want to get good grades at are not the ones that they'll study in college. They just want... to feel above everyone else. And even when they do, they're not satisfied.
They complain. And they complain again. And they don't enjoy life. And they always want more and they don't think that what they already have is enough. I have much less than any of them do. They don't see that. They're selfish, and arrogant, and claim to care about others when they really don't. And why is that? What for? If you don't have people to care about, why have all those things and all those clothes?
I am tired. I am sad. I can see people hurting, reason why they want to be the best. I think that's not a solution. I don't know what's the sollution to their problems, but to mine... I have to start caring about the important things again. I have to start caring about family, college, friends. I can't stay sad. That won't solve anything, will it? I have to actually do something for things to get better, 'cause no-one is going to do it for me. Or will you? No, of course you won't. You don't care. So you won't judge me when I say I'm tired, right? I can't stand people judging me, not anymore.
Thank you for listening. Maybe I'll come back. Keep in mind that I won't say any names. Even though I have them in my head, people need to figure out who they are and who they want to be by themselves. See you soon. I'll keep you posted on my progress.
Love always,
Allexa.
